Making It Home

What is it about home that makes homemade so satisfyingly special? Likewise, where in our minds does the comforting idea of home exist? Is it some primal, instinctually ingrained feeling that dates back to when man existed in an eat or be eaten world or am I just extremely lucky to know what a great home feels like? Perhaps not everyone is as blessed as I am to know home? These questions followed me around on Saturday morning.

I set out on a early morning jog. I wanted to get out into some of the country side and explore these Texas coastal prairies. 9 miles later I had witnessed a hawk with a mouse clutched tight in his talons, a mockingbird bullying a hawk, a beekeeper managing his hives, and some beautiful open road. I didn't mean to jog so far but it was a beautiful morning.

As I approached the approximate halfway point in my jog I realized that I had ventured much further out from home than I anticipated. And... I began to think about home and how love makes a house a home. Steph and I have a home, full of love. Lovey husband and wife, lovey cats and dogs... Lots of love in our house and pretty soon a whole lot more love for our first son.

So much of our lives is dictated by outside the home influences that I think we lose touch with just how important a healthy home is, and that makes homemade items incredibly dear to me. My wife's homemade sugar cookies, our herb garden full of wonderful rosemary, basil, oregano and mint, the picnic table I built... I place more value in homemade. Maybe that value is derived from the love that you can feel in homemade. There is a lot of honesty, caring and passion in homemade. The satisfaction of knowing you made something yourself, that you could sustainably do it again, and the feeling of job well done is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Much of society has lost sight of homemade. Why go through the extra effort to make something homemade when you can just drive the 5 minute to Walmart and buy it for half the price? Is homemade always the easiest path? No, and a lot of folks steer clear of homemade due to it's inefficiencies! Sadly, they are missing out on a whole lot of love and life.

I made it home from my 9 mile venture into the countryside. I walked into our bedroom and kissed my sleeping wife on the head, I pet my two cats and I let my three dogs out to the backyard. I watered my hibiscus plants, our herb garden and the fresh sod. I ate a homemade sugar cookie before making us some homemade nutmeg pancakes. I then made plans to build a custom wood counter for my charcoal grill outside. I went to the hardware store to buy supplies and then came home and got to work on some homemade.

Something about building things and having the right tools makes me feel very ready to be a father. Can't wait to welcome our homemade son into our lovely home.

Surprising

I live about thirty miles from my office. On a good day it takes me an hour to make the drive home. I just love battling Houston rush hour traffic, pushy drivers, and leftlane slow pokes. There is a silver lining though, my dad and twin brother work about 3 miles from my office so I carpool in with them. Carpooling with my dad and brother is great! We chat about all sorts of things; politics, my brother's business plan, curent events, market chatter etc... The drive flies by, I get to spend time with my dad and brother, and we remove two cars off the already congested Houston freeway system. I value this time greatly.

Well, on my drive home tonight (with just my dad since my brother is enjoying a southern swell off the coast of California this week) I questioned, out loud, what my wife might be doing in the nursery when I get home. Will she be hanging baby clothes on special baby clothes hangers - each color coded so we can quickly pick out 0-3 month onesies from 3-6 month onesies, or perhaps she is gracefully stuffing extra diapers into an overflowing, specially designed diaper storage container?

We made the drive home, safe and sound. I carefully twisted the front door handle, anticipating a tornado of baby paraphenilia to fly out the door, but as I pushed the door open I heard silence. That is odd. I stepped inside and there was my beautiful, very pregnant wife zonked out on the couch. She was exhausted. Her family's visit, the baby shower, digging through all the presents (nevermind sorting them, putting them away, putting them somewhere else when she redecorates etc...), and work had absolutly exhausted her.

I was not exhausted. I went for a 3.5 mile jog when I got home (saw 6 rabbits along the way also - 2 of them could have fit in the palm of my hand!). Where was this disconnect between her exhaustion and my energy? Yes, sure my wife is pregnant so inherently she is like a boiling over pot of hormones right now, and her body is going through some huge changes, but we both lived through the same weekend, right? And I had enough energy to jog 12 miles after work since monday.

Then I remembered something I heard at our baby care class - when asking couples to rank the intensity of child birth, the men consistantly reported a number lower than the women. I don't want to get into all the psychological reasons for this result, but the significance is that I really do not know exactly what my wife is going through and maybe I don't need to fully realize everything she feels right now to understand that she needs rest and she needs love. I need to be there to support her and let her know that we are a team, I am here for (and with) her.

Thats what strong teams do. They help each other.

Hard Jogs At Sunset

I jogged over the Kemah bridge this evening. It wasn't the sunset jog that it can be... It was however overcast, steamy humid, and hot. Its not getting cooler anytime soon either.

It was a hard jog. My body was tired, my calfs ached, and my iPod shutdown on me with 3 miles to go so I ran the majority of the jog to the rythm of semitrucks and annoyingly loud Harleys. To make matters worse, we have a sweaty breeze from the southeast so I had the pleasure of running into a 10 mph sauna fan for the two miles home. So, no, this was not a beautiful, sunset cruise over the bridge where I watched dolphins frolic in the channel below while pelicans skimmed across the bay. My jog today was hard.

But, then it was all over, and just like that I am back in my front yard trying to catch my breath. I thought, could this be a lot like fatherhood? Sure, there are hard times. Its ok if it isn't fun for a while as long as you know that you have the discipline and endurance to survive those unpleasurable moments. Eventually you find yourself lounging on your couch (as your wife dilligently works on baby shower thank you cards) thinking about how good your legs feel now, how proud you are that you didn't give in and turn home early, looking forward to the good jogs but ready to take on the hard, sweltering jogs that you might come across again.

I am not sure exactly how hard some of fatherhood's paths are, but i know that i have the strength, determination and supporting cast to make it through those days. More than anything though, I look forward to jogging the entire trail, the good and bad, with my beautiful wife as we successfully raise our first son.

Into The Great Wide Open...

So, lets try and connect the dots of my introductory post and the blog name, RunningFatherhood... I am an avid long distance runner. I don't compete nor do I have an incredible drive to time my jogs. I do, however, enjoy mapping my jogs to see how far I made it. I get great satisfaction from the distance. I also much enjoy the solitude that comes along with the pavement and nature. I count the rabbits, stop over the bridge and watch the dolphins, smell the flora, look for oddities on the roadside etc.. It's difficult to explain why I get such a kick out of this. I suppose it is some deeply rooted human instinct from the days when man relied on long distance running for hunting and travel.

It also helps that I have an extremely high paced, high pressure job - jogging gives me anywhere from half an hour to several hours of time to relax. I know some of you will have difficulty understanding how jogging for hours can be relaxing but (endorphins included) it sure relaxes me!

My daily routine consists of jogging 3 - 4 miles in the afternoon on schoolnights and an additional 5 - 20 miles on weekends. I typically put in 20 - 30 miles per week. And... I am not relativly fast. I just enjoy running.

One other item of note, I either run barefoot or in minimal shoes (vibram kso's currently). I am not going to start my holier than thou diatribe about how benificial barefoot running is for everyone but just know that it works for me.

So... There it is. I am an average guy who works a hard job and really enjoys jogging and the escape it provides. Oh, and that one item of importance I mentioned above, I will be a dad in less than two months and i am having trouble figuring out where that path leads me. I suppose I should also tell you that I am a bit of a control freak so not knowing the path bothers me sometimes... And yes, typically when i step forward into a new path I find something awesome about the anticipation but I also find something unnerving of the infinite chances that I am headed somewhere uncomfortable.

So here I am, just finished 3.5 miles (and only saw 1 rabbit) on a monday evening, about to shower off and help my wonderful, beautiful, very pregnant wife in the nursery.

Stay tuned as we run down this path.

2 Months To Go

I was lying in bed, restless, in the early hours of the morning, next to my beautiful 7 month pregnant wife when the idea to start this blog was born. Today is May 23rd. The reality is that if all goes as planned, god willing, we will have a healthy baby boy in our house in 2 months.


As a new father, that's a pretty stark realization. 2 months! 60 days! I am sure calculating those hours would create a number that would settle my nerves a bit but the reality is that this baby boy is growing well and quickly and will soon be in my arms. Some men at this point begin to feel life close in on them and look for open bathroom windows and devise plans for quick escapes. Not me. I am thrilled to be a dad, but at this moment in the early hours, lying in bed I realized that I am scared that having a baby will require me to give up all that I love and concentrate 99.9% on baby while juggling work, love, and fun in some unfair 0.1% world that hardly exists.


Ergo, this blog will be a view into the changing life of a new father as he tries to maintain some of the normality that he knew before baby. My normality is running.


While I do hope you enjoy this blog, please understand that more than anything this is a therapeutic way for me to express myself as well as a way to document my progression into fatherhood.